Make It Count

During these grey months, I often need reminders to help stay cheerful and positive. This Nike 'Make it Count' video is the perfect inspiration to keep my mind where it should be. It's reminded me that I need to cherish every moment. Even on a bad or rainy day, I need to be thankful for simply being alive. Death can come so quickly, so unexpectedly, I need to make the most of my time and not dwell on my past and what I don't have anymore; this happens more often than it should. Life is just too precious, and too short to get hung up on the negative. 

Turning 30

(Not yet!)

My cousin sent me this link about turning 30, and there has been one "By 30 you should know" that I have been conscious of for the past few years. It's number one.
By 30, you should know ...

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

In my last relationship, I completely lost myself (which is why I think I took the breakup so hard). I was embarrassed not to know who I was after we split. What were my hobbies? Who were my friends, what did I like to do with my spare time? Where did I put my energy, time, and money? Learning that you don't actually know yourself is seriously frightening and takes time, and some serious soul searching to find your inner you again. It took me approximately (maybe a little longer) three months to find me again. My strategy (totally unplanned, by the way): no computer for three months and hardly any phone usage,  unless absolutely necessary. I hid my computer under my bed and it took the place of that monster we've all been afraid of as a child. I didn't want to touch it, look at it, open it, or face any sort of social network reality. I didn't know how to deal with it because, quite simply, I didn't really know myself single! After three months of this, and after surrounding myself with amazing, inspirational people, after filling up every free minute of my day with something fun and active, I learned who I was again. And I fell in love with the person I'd become. I accepted who I was and vowed to never lose myself again, but instead to always continue to live a rich, full, vivid and colorful life. If there's one way that I could explain this strange process it was that before, I was living in black and white. But gaining so much insight, having more energy and finding where and how to channel it, I realized how truly colorful my life was becoming by practicing these new routines. I think you can only truly find yourself and gain this sort of "fresh start" after hitting a hard and nasty rock bottom. 

If you've talked to me lately or have been reading through the blog, then you probably know that it's been quite the adjustment for me moving to England. I've left behind sun, family, friends and a lifestyle that's been familiar to me my entire life. It's taken lots of time, patience, and more soul-searching dealing with my feelings and emotions I've felt over the last year, and I've had to completely readjust my way of living. On top of being newlywed, I am in a new country and everything is brand new and different. It's exciting having a new beginning, but as you can imagine, it's also terrifying, as change usually is. We have no plans for our future yet regarding where we'll live--we are trying to stay as open minded as we possibly can and not rule out any possibilities, since anything is possible! Overall though, as I reflect on my past year of living here, I've had my highs and lows, it's been a new and challenging experience for me; one that has made me work at not losing myself in it all. Thankfully, Peter and I are so very connected, and so open and honest with each other, that if I am ever feeling unbalanced, he's always happy to provide whatever I need to get back on track. 

15 Things you should give up to be happy

I found this next site on facebook and a couple of these "things to give up" kind of struck a chord with me. The few I've practiced working on are: to stop complaining, giving up resistance to change, giving up the past, and giving up attachment. 

Complaining. Who doesn't complain? It's way too easy to do. For me, it's mostly been about the change in weather. Heck, half of my blog is dedicated to my complaining about the weather! But alas, it's no good complaining about something you have no control over.

Resistance to change. We've all been through it, and as I've said before, it's scary! It's hard to change, especially when you can't let go of the past. Which leads me to...

Give up the past.

"I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now."

I will admit, this is my biggest struggle! It's too easy to forget that when you were living in this 'past you can't let go of', you didn't stop to appreciate it enough. You didn't realize you'd miss it so much. This realization and struggle has really motivated me to stop focusing on what I left behind and pay more attention to what I have right in front of me, here. I am very happy here and have so many things to be thankful for--I just need to tuck my past away into a special folder in my memory.

Give up attachment. This is a tough one when a lot of my past attachments are at home and I constantly long for them. They span from people (family and friends), to hobbies (mostly hiking, racquetball, scenic runs) to food (the variety & having special meals with friends). Attachments create routines and it's a challenge to start brand new routines.

These are my goals, written. 'Til next time.